7th of June, 2022
SR - Hey, I don’t usually see you this time of night.
Jan - I know. I thought I would stretch my legs.
SR - How is your new job going?
Jan - It is full-on. I can see great things happening. I finally feel purpose has come back into my life. Perhaps the darkest days are behind me.
SR - Maybe they are. The good thing is, at least now you know you can handle the darkness and sit patiently in it, even though it hurts.
Jan - That is a strength I have gained but not one that I want to call on too often. I am about to go through a paradoxical time. Though, these days life is always a paradox. On the one hand, I am focused, excited and life filled with possibility at the moment. I never take that for granted anymore. Then I have Murray’s birthday at the weekend. A Time when we would have been planning to get together with him, bake cakes, and have a family birthday. This time he won’t be there to blow out his candles. Another birthday. That is the paradox, I get to grow my life while his remains in the past. It seems wrong. In my opinion, it is wrong.
SR - Some would question the theory of time and say everything is always now.
Jan - Mmmmm…. I would have to work on that theory. Sometimes I get it and sometimes it seems bonkers 😂
SR - I guess it means spirit is always present and knows no time and we are all spirit in whatever packaging we experience life in.
Jan - I get that. But I feel I am living two lives in parallel. There is my physical life filled with other people, opportunities, and a future, and my other life that lives in spirit, always talking to Murray and checking in with him and my other spirit relatives.
SR - I am sure they will like that. They are all guiding you.
Jan - Yes. I am trying to remember that and appreciate and accept that is how life is now. Life does change.
SR - From the moment you are born.
Jan - This is so true and we have no real control over HOW our life changes. We can only show up as our best and see what happens. My mum always said that. We would make plans and she would always end with, ‘Let’s see what happens’, in her Bolton accent.
SR - A wise woman, your mum.
Jan - She was. I better go. It is getting late and I have work tomorrow 😊
SR - You do. I am excited for you. I will see you soon.
Jan - As soon as I can. Be good. 😂
SR - You are so funny. Good night. Get back safe. Xx
READ THE NEXT CONVERSATION - Walking towards Murray's anniversary - again - HERE