You are going through life and all is well, then in an instant it all changed and you were on your knees, feeling lost with no idea how life goes on without your loved one.
Hi, I am Janet Jones, founder of Happiness Millionaire. Welcome to my conversations with my rock on the beach, Sylvia-Rose. She helped me navigate the next chapter of my life, the chapter without my 22-year-old son, Murray. Join these musings about life, grief, and loss with my rock, Sylvia-Rose. To learn why she is called Sylvia-Rose and how and why we met, I invite you to read my first blog - 'If Rocks Could Talk, Meet Sylvia-Rose'. You could also register to have these blogs delivered to your email inbox so you never miss them. Click the FOLLOW SYLVIA-ROSE button.
Discovering new ways to take your heart back after the loss of a loved one and how to connect with their love
On December 11th, 2021, I share with Sylvia-Rose about the first time I listened to motivational music since losing Murray in July 2019.
SR - Hi. I didn’t expect to see you here. It is pouring down.
- I know. I guess the determination is back. I wanted to let you know what has happened since our last chat. I have brought rain cover so I don’t break my phone in the rain
SR - Nothing is stopping you. Is that a little spring in your step I see?
Jan - Yes. It feels nice. I even walked along the seabed to get here. It felt a little scary being in unfamiliar territory.
SR - It does. Your whole life is unfamiliar territory but I am so proud to see you keep walking it. What has happened? I am curious.
Jan - The last time we spoke, I was in a dark place. So hurt by what had happened to Murray’s plaque. We spoke about time and healing.
SR - I remember. We had some food for thought. I have been thinking about that too.
Jan - You asked what healing would look like to me and I said I want it NOW!
SR - I remember. I said, for you to be it and accept the downtime as part of the journey.
- I have been doing that. It takes time but it is amazing what different actions can do. I did the park run this morning. I also ran to my new motivational playlist. That is the first time I have done that since losing Murray. I have rejected motivation. One of the songs on my list is called 'The Living Proof'
from the film The Help
. It is about a woman whose son has died and how she found purpose and is embracing life by becoming her true self. I truly connected with it. There were others too. I will share my list soon.
SR - Music can truly touch the soul and send out powerful healing vibrations.
- I also watched a Christmas movie last night. After I lit up the twig I took home from the beach last time. It is looking good. Murray
is on there too.
SR - What was the film? It sounds like you got something from it.
- Yes, I did. It wasn’t the best film but I took something from it. It was Last Christmas
. Spoiler alert. The cute guy in it is a ghost and keeps telling the young girl to look up. It is confusing until the end when you realise he is a spirit. Looking up connects you to spirits, your loved ones. You also stand and walk taller which allows you to be strong in the face of grief. I did that when I ran the park run. Looking up, I placed both my hands on my heart and connected with Murray. I felt him feeling proud and connected to me. That is why I wanted to come here and not let the rain get in the way. I want to stand up to adversity. After all, what is a little rain and cold?
SR - Exactly. One day you won’t be able to experience it and feel it. Enjoy it now. Feel it now. You are amazing. I can’t believe the difference since just two days ago.
Jan - Me neither. It feels good. I know there are pitfalls ahead. That is all part of the healed me, right?
SR - It is. Amazing. I love the healed you. I love this version of the healed you.
Jan - I feel really connected to my heart and soul at the moment. After we spoke on Thursday, I gently encouraged myself to go out in the evening to start an art class in town. It was cold and dark and would have been so easy to isolate myself in the safety of my home. You advised me to take care of myself and though soaking in a hot bath with candles is a beautiful way to take care of myself, I realised that so is learning new skills and connecting to the creative self. I also collected that twig from the beach for my Christmas tree. People looked and one woman made a sarcastic comment. I felt so much lighter after our chat the other day, I just smiled at everyone. Murray loved me making our Christmas tree from a twig. It is creative and good for the environment.
SR - You seem very different. I see your strength beginning to be revealed.
- Thanks. I also got to work yesterday on Happiness Millionaire
. I feel ready. I feel ready to show up as this version of me. I know I am still in a transition but I am very curious to discover how brave this new me will be.
SR - Me too!!! I am excited by our conversation. You must be getting cold by now.
Jan - I am. Home for some soup and a hot bath.
- Not at the same time, I hope!!
Jan - Funny. No. Ok. I am now freezing. I will see you soon.
SR - I look forward to it. Remember you don’t have to be anything other than you.
Jan - Deal. See you soon. Xxx
NEXT CONVERSATION - Transforming grief with an unexpected Enlightened moment - HERE