7. Being brave to love again when your life has fallen apart
Nov 24, 2021
I was going through life and all was well, then in an instant it all changed and I was on my knees, feeling lost with no idea how life could go on without, Murray.
It is said that life is short. Do people, really appreciate what that means? We have no idea which breath is our last or how many we have left. If Murray taught me anything it was that. Life can end at any moment, so what are we waiting for? Why don’t we be brave and show up fully, how we truly feel? Why do we allow our minds to convince us we have low self-esteem or we are not worthy? Isn’t it time to let all of that go?
On this beautiful sunny morning, I couldn’t wait to share my epiphany with Sylvia-Rose.
16th of Nov, 2021.
SR - Well, well!! Good morning. You made the sunrise. What got you out of bed this morning?
Me - I didn’t quite make it to see the golden kiss on your back. Next time. What changed? A shift. I read something the other day about love and life. It hit me that you can’t have one without the other. If you are not loving, you are not fully living.
SR - Great observation. You would think people did that automatically.
Me - They don’t. I don’t. I realised that when I was afraid to join the crowd of people for the Parkrun on Saturday. I think that is where the penny dropped. When we truly live and love, we are vulnerable. That discomfort on Saturday was vulnerability. But as we only live once, and Murray’s early departure proves we have no idea for how long, it is best not to put loving off for tomorrow. It is time to be brave. It is time for change. That is what got me up this morning. I actually bounced out of bed!!!
SR - Wow!!! Jan, that is truly amazing. I can’t wait to see what comes from your bravery. You know the steps. You have written them. I have your back.
Me - Thanks. You have been an important part of this journey. I better go now. The tide is coming in.
SR - You better. Time and tide wait for no man!
Me – That is my dad’s favourite saying. If only he had paid more attention. I better dash. That wave nearly got my foot!!
SR - Have a great, brave day. Run!!!!
Me - You too. BYE!
What does loving, really mean? It isn’t just romantic love, there is a whole assortment of love, parents, siblings, children, friends, animals, life, nature and so many more. I guess the place to start when growing from loss is with love for yourself. This change doesn’t happen overnight. When we make the effort to know our values and the value we want to bring to the world, then committing to those and making inner changes, is what prepares us for loving others. How can we love others if we don’t love ourselves first? How can we be patient with others if we aren’t patient with ourselves first? How do we respect others if we don’t respect ourselves first?
